


Bowling

by rainbowthefox



Category: ONAF, One Night at Flumpty's
Genre: Five Nights at Freddy's - Freeform, Gen, flumpty - Freeform, fnaf - Freeform, onaf - Freeform, one night at flumpty's - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 02:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7248313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowthefox/pseuds/rainbowthefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flumpty and Friends go bowling. (AU/Crack fic/OOC) An ONAF/One Night at Flumpty's fanfic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bowling

"HEAVE, EYESAUR! HEAVE!"

The 50-eyed monster continued trotting down the sidewalk with ease. It was a rather muggy day. Despite the clouds that surrounded the town, it felt really hot. Maybe that was because of the blood and bits of flesh flowing underneath them, or the multiple, horrific screams that could be heard underneath Eyesaur. Every few minutes, they'd hear the sound of someone's cranium cracking or the shredded sound of their muscles being pulled from their bones.

Flumpty was leaning over on top of Eyesaur and chanting the word 'heave' over and over again. It was as if he was oblivious to the chaos he caused around them. Which was a pretty normal thing when you thought about it.

The Redman leaned forward near him. He asked, "Flumpty?"

The egg paused from him semi-heroic chanting and turned around. He asked, "Yes?"

"Just where are we going?"

The group of 6 turned around and noticed the neighborhood they were causing havoc in. They'd been traveling on the sidewalks for a couple of hours now. If they were heading anywhere important, they'd surely be there by now. Flumpty laughed.

"You already forgot, Red? We're going bowling!"

"Bowling?" Grunkfuss repeated in disbelief. The egg nodded his shell.

"Yup! The alley is far from our home, but we should be there anytime the author finishes procrastinating! Be a little more patient, won't you?"

"But why bowling?" Grunkfuss continued. "Just yesterday you made a pool we could swim in....which was actually wasn't that bad.......but now THIS!?"

"What's wrong with bowling?" Blam asked. "I heard it's fun."

"It is...." Grunkfuss looked down at the blood stains of other pedestrians. "But why are we doing such normal stuff?"

Despite his past, the clown HAD a point. They were morphed, human and inanimate objects that murdered a played guard based upon a fictional game. They seemed to be the last type of people who'd be bowling. Or doing anything anyone sane would do, for that matter. Flumpty let out an amused hum.

"Don't worry about that, guys. I mean....how ELSE are we going to be intriguing content for fanfiction? It'd be best to just deal it and see how it plays out."

The Redman and Grunkfuss exchanged looks. Normally, things didn't work out well at the end, but....their last adventure did. Why not give this one a chance?

\--

"RRRRRAAAWWWWRRRRRR!"

The vibrations sent by Eyesaur nearly knocked everyone off of them. It was low enough that you could just feel the tectonic plates shifting underground. A little earthquake could be felt only a few seconds after it.

Everyone slid off of Eyesaur's tail and, once Flumpty got off, he chained their leash to a lamp post. Not like it'd hold them, but at least it'd look like it. They already may have raised suspicions by the several mass murders on their way there. They started to head into the alley.

"Wait!" Flumpty exclaimed. Almost everyone exhaled in impatience when he started digging around in air. Out of nowhere, 6 leather jackets appeared on them. They had eggs on the back with numbers on them, and a ball-and-pins logo on the front. They weren't sure if he was mocking bowling teams or that they were one. Either way, it concerned them.

"Flumpty?" The Owl asked, waving her wings freely out of the cut outs on hers. "What are these?"

"Our outfits!" He exclaimed. "Today, we're a team! Well...we're always a team, but today it matters! We're going to be entering a tournament today after we practice for a bit."

"A tournament!?" BB stressed. "But I don't even know how to play!"

"Don't worry, Blam!" Flumpty patted his box head. "We'll have the bumpers up for you. Anyone else who uses them is a loser, and will get killed."

Immediately, everyone turned silent. The egg waved it off and laughed. "Just kidding!"

With that, he turned around and entered the alley. Everyone hesitated before following after him. Once everyone was inside, Flumpty took a look around. It was pretty crowded for a Wednesday. Which didn't matter because he could always clear up a lane if he had to....

The Beaver ran to the restroom, first thing. Guess they wouldn't see him for a few hours. Maybe sooner. The author always forgot about him, anyway. 

"Can I help you?" A nice lady asked from the desk. The egg trotted over to her and nodded.

He replied, "Yes! I would like 6 pairs of shoes and two lanes."

"Will do!" She got some pairs and set them on the table. She said, "Lanes 9 and 10 are open. How many games would you like?"

"Hmmm..." Flumpty mused. He turned to the others and asked. "How many games, fellas?"

"How about one?" Grunkfuss said sarcastically. Flumpty took it seriously and shook his head.

"We can't have just ONE game! We have all day, or 20 more minutes, to spend!"

The clown face palmed. Flumpty turned back and said, "We'll take 5 games."

Flumpty handed the cashier the cash and led his friends to their lanes. When other players saw them, they edged away and/or screamed in terror. The egg paid no mind to it and set their bags on the ground. First things first: shoes.

\--

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS!?"

You wouldn't think the first thing would be difficult, but it was. The Redman had struggles clawing his "feet" into his pair of bowling shoes. Everyone else had theirs on, despite the difference for them, too. Maybe he was just being a baby about it.

"I think you'd fit better in high heels than those." Grunkfuss joked. He got a laugh from Flumpty and BB, but only a glare from Red. He picked up the shoes with his beak and threw them to the side in aggravation. He wouldn't cause too much trouble with his limbs as they were. Probably....

"Alright, everyone!" Flumpty said and handed them their bags. "I packed all of you your own ball. Be careful with them! It took me forever to fit them all in there."

"Uh, Flumpty..?" Grunkfuss asked, pulling his out of his bag. "Are these...decapitated heads?"

Everyone pulled their pair out of their bags and were greeted with the same sight. Apparently, Flumpty packed the significant parts of the carcasses left back at home. Some had their spinal cord sticking out while others didn't. Either way, it was truly disgusting. Horrifying enough to their pleasure, though.

"Yeah!" The egg exclaimed. "What better ball can there be than the remnants of our victims?"

The Beaver, taking a seat with a patch of TP stuck to his foot, looked over. He asked, "Is that why everyone ran off?"

The 6 looked over and noticed the empty alley. They could see the last of the other bowlers rushing out of the alley. Some left their stuff while others took everything at the last minute and bailed. They saw a few lanes with games left open. Grunkfuss scoffed.

"Nah. I think they noticed that we're all inhumane creatures who have the scent of blood on them and were the ones who trashed their town and destroyed more than half of their population."

"Welp!" Flumpty got up and grabbed his 'ball'. "More fun for us, then!"

He rolled his 'ball' down the lane and got a strike. Everyone gawked at this while Flumpty did his victory dance. The head left a trail of blood down his lane, and you could hear some of the flesh tearing when it came out of the tube thing. There was blood on that, too.

"Anyone hungry?" He suddenly asked and turned around. "I'm a bit peckish. What do you guys want? It's on me. I'm in a great mood!"

"Good." Grunkfuss remarked, grabbing a menu. "Something to take advantage of."

While everyone else browsed their menus, Flumpty turned to Blam. He asked, "Let me guess, B? You want a large pepperoni pizza?"

"Two, please?" He asked. The egg nodded his shell.

"Anyone else?"

"Yeah....get me the uh..." Redman put his menu down with his beak. "The spiciest chicken wings you can get, alright?"

"Got it!" He gave him a thumbs-up. "Sure you don't want a drink of lava on the side, Red?"

"Ha-ha." He rolled his eyes. "Very funny."

"Owl wants a garden salad," Grunkfuss interrupted, thumbing at her. "I want nachos and Beaver wants a cup of water. Have fun."

"Mkay!" He started to leave the lane, waving at them. "Oh, and uh...Red? You teach Blam how to bowl while I'm gone."

"W-Wha-!?" He gave him a look. "Why me!?"

They all looked at Flumpty for a response, but he was already gone. They figured it was because, out of all of them, he'd have the most struggles doing it. That, or he was doing another "test" where, if they failed, they got killed. No one ever passed those.

\--

"Okay, kid." The Redman led him to the front of the lane. "What you wanna' do is roll the ball down there and aim for the pins. Since that freak of an egg put the bumpers up, it'll be real easy. You just aim for the middle, roll it, and see what happens."

Blam blinked and took a look of the decapitated head held in his hands. He stood there uncertainly before looking at the Redman again.

He asked, "How?"

"How...what?" Red repeated. "To roll it?"

Blam nodded. The monster rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh. He took the head from him in his beak and aimed it at the lane. He murmured, "Ymou mjust hold ith like thism, an roll ith."

He turned his head to the side, then tossed the head out of his mouth. Not only did it COMPLETELY miss the lane, but it hit someone else's gutter. Blam ended up having a laughing fit and some of the others behind them did, too. The Redman just laid there like the spine he was and contemplated his existence.

"Good one, Redman!" The Owl yelled from behind them. "But, next time, I think you should aim for the pins?"

"I KNOW THAT!" He snapped. The Redman, lava tears pouring out of his eyes, ran out of their lane and headed towards the Bar. Which made no sense because he couldn't really drink...

\--

"Alright, guys! I'm back with the food!"

They were 3/4ths into the way of their fifth game when Flumpty came back. In his stick hands held plates of the food they desired. He set them on the table and watched as his friends devoured them like the animals they were. He placed his hands on his nonexistent hips and looked around.

"Where's Red?"

Grunkfuss looked up, then shrugged. He said, "Crying his problems away, I guess."

Flumpty looked at the scoreboard. The Redman had a good score of 0, and the Beaver was beating everyone by a good 100. If Flumpty had been there for the other games, he surely would have broken the scoreboard itself! Not with his skills, of course, but his randomly-assigned magic. He was tempted to raise Blam's score just for an ego boost.

Looking down at his friends, he asked. "How is it?"

"Pretty good!" Beaver said, giving him a thumbs up. Grunkfuss rolled his eyes.

"That's water, you dummy."

"Well, it's really good!"

BB looked up from his slice and snickered. Flumpty let out a chuckle then turned to Owl. He said, "No, really. How is it?"

"It's really good!" She complimented and took another bite. "This alley has wonderful food."

"Well, that's great! Because I made it!"

*SPIT* *SPIT*  
*CHOKE* *CHOKE*  
*SUFFERING*

"GAH!" Grunkfuss coughed up the cheese. "W-WHY!?"

"Well, what else did you expect?" Flumpy asked. "Once everyone saw the heads, they left! Even the employees! We could rob this place if we wanted, but have you seen the food here? They have a wonderful kitchen here, by the way. Lots of pre-assembled hot dogs."

The Beaver suddenly ran off into the bathroom again. No one could blame him. They all wanted to do the same. That egg always tended to slip poison into their meals and beverages....Maybe vomiting won't cut it this time?

"Hey! You're almost done with the fifth game!" Flumpty pointed out. "Guess we should get ready for the tournament, huh?"

"Flumpty." Grunkfuss stated. "There's no one else here. Who are we gonna' play?"

"Ourselves!" The egg raised his hands in the air. "It'll be fun! Who is better than the other? Of course, I'll win, but it'll be fun to see you guys try to beat me!"

"Nope." Grunkfuss stood, took his shoes off, and headed for the door. "I'm done."

"Me, too." Owl said, shrugging off her jacket and following him. "I'm tired."

Flumpty and BB watched the rest of their gang leave the alley. Even the Beaver left the bathroom in mid-course just so he could get out of the fic. Everyone eventually left the alley empty except the Redman, whom still sat there at the bar and cried his life out. He knew that, despite everything, he'd end up back at that god foresaken building.

This was the worst ending ever.


End file.
